epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Bring me that man meat
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
