My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
