Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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