I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
