i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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