you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
