And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
