my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize