Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I believe in your delicious
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
