life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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