Pants 0. Shit 1.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We are two peas in an std pod
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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