ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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