Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize