Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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