fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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