the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
