Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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