Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
