my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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