come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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