i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
