I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
