a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize