Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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