I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
