I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
