I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
