Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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