then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
