do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
and she was petting her beer can
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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