Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
