He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
