at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she peed on how many people?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
