I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
