we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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