so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
