Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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