Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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