things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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