In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
