This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
