Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize