How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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