I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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