My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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