he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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