So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
