dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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