she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
True strength comes from lack of pants
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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