Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize