You're my little dorito
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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