So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
