nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
