You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
